Six Months

I saw this photo on tumblr the other day and it made me think about how much my life has changed in six months.

Six months ago was December 1st. We had one more football game of the season, CLS and I were still not friends yet, I still had a crush on my best friends ex-boyfriend, I had no internship, and my life wasn't really the most impressive.

But today me and CLS are DATING, I have finished my senior year of college (although I still have one more semester), the majority of my friends have graduated college, I have an internship in Beverly Hills starting on Monday, and I have my life much more put together.

Although by no means do I think I have my life figured out, I have more of a plan and a direction. I have more focus in my life and I am much more happy.

Its funny how even though you feel like you make no progress and nothing changes, looking back just six months shows me how much has changed with out me taking a moment to appreciate everything I have.

Made My Day

Yesterday CLS showed up at the house that I am babysitting at with flowers and a ticket to his graduation!

We had plans to hang out by the pool and just relax because the kids were at school. When I answered the door he pulled out flowers from behind his back and I was so shocked and happy!

We got into a 3 hour long fight/talk about things that had been bugging me and why I was so mad all the time.

This is the first time he has boughten me flowers and they were so perfect, I had mentioned how cliche I thought red roses were and these were the perfect flowers.

And even though we had talked about his graduation, I wasn't sure I was really invited, it is a family event and would be a big step for me be invited. I had actually already ordered my dress so the ticket was a relief!

My life makes me giggle

ok so i am going way out of order of my life and things I want to blog but this has just being growing and is now so huge I must vent about everything!

So CLS has this friend named C. They met 2 summers ago while studying abroad during the summer.

CLS thought he was normal, and they became friends. I am not sure the exact order and timing of things but once they got back to school in America that fall, at some point C went crazy, professed his love for my boy and became stalkerish.

I guess this has been going on for sometime, CLS tried to get rid of him but it doesnt work. He deleted him off fb, stopped hanging out with him, and even now barley responds.

But C does not stop.

I read all the text messages. CLS knows, he shows me.

Apperently C is getting very jealous of me, I feel like his the other women, or I am, I am not sure. SO confusing.

But here are a few of my favorite things C has said:

-"You always ignore me when you are with her but talk to her when you are with me"
-"You have to choose."
-"You always make time for her on my weekends but never make time for me on her weekends."
-"You can read her this because I am assuming she is laying besides you."
-"Sorry I just had to get my jealousy comment in there someplace."
-"The more you like her, the less I like you."

Yes it is weird. He is extremely jealous of me, thinks I just "showed up" in CLS's life recently, does not allow CLS to talk to me when they are together (even though he always does), gets angry when me and CLS do things together (sorry they are dates, I am allowed to go on dates with him) and sends him many novels (extremely long text messages).

He tried to convince CLS not to come out to visit me last weekend because their school year is almost over and he didn't think it was a good use of his time.

He told him I am not allowed to come to Senior Night (you can bring one guest) because he would be too jealous. Well I am DEFINTLY going now.

Wants to go away together for the weekend.

Wants to have sleepovers with him. Yes he says sleepovers, with no sleep. Kill me now.

I was getting very freaked out by all of this. So I did talk about it with CLS and apparently C has talked about suicide in the past and so CLS feels he cant just bail.

Ok I understand that but last night he kept texting him accusing him of being with me and spending too many nights with me (sorry I'm not sorry its totally true). Then this morning he sent him 3 extremely long texts and told him he had to choose, WHO DOES THAT? I never even told him to choose.

This is just redic. And I will be kissing CLS and holding his hand, and innocently touching him ALL night senior night.

Off to the gym to get all skinny and pretty for Senior Night next week.

This is sooooo weird

First Kiss Stories

I think romantic, sweet, awweee, worthy first kiss stories these days are so rare. And I think that is such a sad thing. I think that when your dating the most often question you get is "how did you meet?" When you're engaged "how did he ask?" becomes just as frequent. But a first kiss story is just as important, maybe you dont share it as often but its a milestone and should be treated as one.

I've said this before and will say it many more times, but I hate how so many "relationships" begin these days. I dont mind hearing you met in a bar, or at college, or through a friend, but I am a firm believer in the best relationships are the ones with the best stories.

I want to tell my children an original story of how I met their father, and our first kiss, our first date, how he proposed etc. I want stories, and memories, and ones I am not ashamed of, ones that I am proud and excited to share with them and others.

I am in no means void of my drunken make out stories. I have had plenty of first kisses in bars while intoxicated, more then my fair share of random make outs that only happened once, and regrettable nights. (If you ever heard half of my stories of studying abroad, but what happens below the equator stays below the equator.)

And while all of these may be things I regretted in the morning, they have come to be funny stories, memories and more then anything things that I have learned from.

Besides D, who our yes our first kiss was on a dance floor in Chile, we were still in Chile. So if we had ended up together, which there was never even the chance, we still had the default, "we met while studying abroad in south america" line.

But I would consider myself to have two good first kiss stories. One being my first kiss, and the other with CLS, who I happen to have a good meeting story with as well.

My first kiss was at my 12th birthday party. It was a sleepover party, a bunch of my friends and I were at the beach. A super cute boy, lets name him RC, was out surfing and a few of us decided to swim out to him. It was sunset, yes cliché, but it was. And I had the biggest crush on RC. So we were all hanging out on his board in the water, I had Kiss Me Its My Birthday written on my arm as a joke. Someone mentioned it. And yes yes he kissed me.

The next is with CLS. We had been friends for almost 2 and a half years. Yes and I had liked him that entire time. Pathetic I know. But we started hanging out again. We went to a Lakers game, and afterwards, no kiss. The next night we went out, again no kiss. So frustrated I called him out over text. Lame I know but too awkward to do in person. He had some good points, he wasnt going to kiss me when I was drunk, half asleep, angry at him, etc. Which was frustrating but I am so glad.

The next night we went to the movies. We saw No Strings Attached, as much as I love that movie, dont see it with a boy you haven't even kissed. But after the movie we drove back to his house and we were acting like little middle schoolers, so giddy and smiley and giggly because we both knew what was coming.

We got back to his house and he parked and we were standing next to my car, talking, and in the middle he kissed me. We were both smiling and happy and it was so innocent. We kept talking and kissing here and there, just pecks but it was so perfect.

(By far not our first kiss, but our first kissing picture, so it kind of counts, also I love this one)

I am glad he waited till the perfect moment. I am glad that is what I can tell people and not he kissed me when I was half asleep, half drunk after the game. Or mad at him after a night out.

Now he will kiss me no matter what, he'll kiss me when I am drinking, or eating, mad at him, yelling, walking away, or half asleep. But the first one mattered most.

Are drunken words really sober thoughts?

We use to say "I love you" all the time. And it was no big deal.

About a month or two into our friendship I said it once and he said that was a "big word" and somehow love turned into "four letters"

I four you.
I four-letter you.
Four you.
Fourever.

We would say it all the time. Both I love you and I four you and really I never thought of it because we were not involved.

Even after not being friends for that two year span, we started saying it again. It was like saying it to a friend. Because that is what we were.

That is what we are.

But ever since we started going on "dates" and doing whatever we are doing now, we dont say it.

Which do not get me wrong, I am so thankful for that.

But he got drunk on Saturday and called me. No big deal of course. But we were talking and he said it.

We were talking about how much he hates something, and I got angry and he said "just because I hate Arizona, doesn't mean I dont love you."

It caught me off guard but I just kept the conversation going, and he noticed definitely noticed it because about a minuet later he said "I may hate arizona but I still like you"

Then we lost service and he sent me a text saying "I love you"

All I said back was dont say that.

We talked on the phone a while later, after we hung up I got a text saying "I four you."

I said "I miss you too."

I know he realized it again because of the conversation we had on Sunday and how he was acting in the morning.

It really is no big deal. I mean who doesn't love everyone when they are drunk. I say it all the time, I am pretty sure the bouncers and bartenders at our favorite bar don't go a weekend with out me professing my love for them.

And me and him use to say it all the time, so I am sure it just slipped out.

But at the same time we have both been so careful about NOT saying it, and very careful with our word choice when it comes to talking about anything to do with us that it still has me thinking.

It was a little much for a sober Saturday.

Dating

I am sorry but I think "dating" these days SUCKS. People no longer "date" or get to know each other. The majority of relationships these days start after a month or two of hooking up and hanging out drunk.

People rarely met, go out to dinner, talk, do things and then start to date. I am sorry but I think that sucks.

By no means do I expect that I am going to marry someone I have met at school but even so you never know how things will play out. And I do not want to tell my children that I met their father while I was wasted one night, we made out in a bar and then started sleeping together and eventually hung out one and one.

I dont want to tell my kids I did that ever.

I am not even sure how to define date anymore.

Is it a date if its just the two of you doing something? Or does the boy have to ask you out, drive and pay? And the rest is just "hanging out?"

Either way, whatever me and CLS have been doing, prior present and future, I am officially saying we went on our first real date.

He asked me.

Took me to dinner.

Drove.
Choose.

Paid.

By no means am I saying that what we were doing before were not "date" (I am leaving that up to his discretion).

In our friendship (sorry I refuse to say relationship) I always pick where we go, what we do, when we do it etc. And I am not saying it because he doesn't want to, I just do it because I am controlling and Type A while he is much more relaxed and go with the flow.

It was so much more exciting to let him be in charge. He picked this amazing restaurant, I cant remember the name but I have the card (yes I am cheesy and keep something from everything we do together). It wasn't some chain, big name standard default place.

He either looked it up or heard about it from someone else. It was a perfect date place, the lighting, the mood, everything. And it wasn't like a "romantic" place. Which I really appreciate. I don't do romantic.

He also ordered wine. What is this? Are we really growing up where we go to dinner, on a date, to a cute downtown chic restaurant and get wine with our meal? I could get use to this.

Oh and he didnt order wine, he got sangria. I don't know if he just thought I would like it, or if I told him about my recent love of it but he definitely got major points for that. I wasn't even going to drink!

We got these appetizers, bacon wrapped octopuses. Amazing.

At the end of the night I offered to split the bill with him, because I know that he actually works while I just get money given to me. But he paid. The whole thing, didnt even let me try to offer.

So I guess my point of this rant is that dating these days blows. It is so difficult to actually get a boy to take you on one, no matter how much they like you.

I think we need to bring first dates back, and get rid of first drunken hook ups.

California Weekend

This weekend I went home and surprisingly it turned into one of the best weekends of the year (yes it is only the 5th week of the year.)

My wonderful schedule this semester allows me to go take "long weekends" whenever I want, assuming no exams!

On Thursday CLS and I went to the Lakers game. Yes, yes I know, he actually went!!
And he was an actual delight to be around. I on the other hand was a handful. In CLS's words I was "pounding tequila." I beg to differ, I had a little too much to drink and was apparently abusive but he never complained.
He dealt with my hot mess of a self, held my hand all night, yes even when I slept the entire ride home, and really made the whole night so much better just dealing with me.

He didn't even rub it in my face when the Lakers lost.

On Friday, once I mustered up enough energy to get out of bed, you know around 2, I went to Theory and bought some adorable sweater dresses, I mean I needed something to wear out that night. CLS actually agreed to go out with me even though he was tired. We went to PB to meet up with on of my friends from high school. As much as I wanted CLS to be there I should have let him stay home, he didn't have any fun and therefore I got frustrated. We ended up leaving early, getting in a disagreement and actually ended up having a productive talk.

Saturday I went to lunch with J and the to see No Strings Attached with CLS. I will buy that movie.

And on Sunday I really wanted to get eggs benedict from The Cottage but no, there was a 20 min wait and so we ended up at Pannikin.
I cant complain, I really do love the Greek eggs.

I love sunday breakfast with CLS, I am pretty sure we sat there for almost 2 hours talking, but talked about nothing.

I gave CLS a hard time about never saying nice things to me, which isnt true, he can be nice, and he told me 5 things. So maybe I didnt respond to him, but I have about a million nice things about him but heres ten:

1. He says he loves me Italian
2. He gives me his jacket when I am cold

3. He holds my hand, most of the time, even sometimes without me asking

4. He opens my door, even though I never say thank you, which I will start

5. He always argues with me, but always lets me win

6. He drives a stick

7. He listens to me, even though he will never admit it

8. He takes pictures with me

9. He does things with me

10. He can make me smile and laugh, I cant go very long being mad